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august

by hemlock

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    another month of music
    phone-recorded song ideas, messy n merciful
    all proceeds will go to ida relief in southern Louisiana
    solidarity forever
    Purchasable with gift card

      $7 USD  or more

     

1.
2.
red eye night on a frontier flight — when the sun does rise in Colorado skies the haze has stolen all the mountains away
3.
4.
1 2 3 4 in the light of it all im doin fine with it all im doin fine with it ill take the the ride with it all ill take the the ride with it ill take the ride with it in the spite of it all ill bite the hand, take the fall o in the spite of it voicemail is full when you call i can’t be caught, after all i can’t be caught in it
5.
6.
drive yr car up to the north side don’t let the news make you cry again I won’t ignore my own body won’t let my skin make me shy again I won’t pretend I am holy I am only still a sapling and I know nothing but the morning greets me kindly waking up again ride your bike out to the west side I’ll get swept up in the night again I will welcome my own body and the changing of the seasons what does it mean to be homely am I not? or am I only? and I know nothing but the evening sends me kindly off to sleep again I know nothing but the morning greets me kindly waking up again i know nothin i know nothin i know nothin i know
7.
piles and piles of your things plates and books and frames and shiny rings what is their story whats taken place what finds a new home, what remains piles and piles, hopes and dreams “everything’s collectible,” it seems “I’ll take the stamps, sir” “4 dollars, please” a nod, a smile; an end, a means
8.
I looked in the mirror, for the first time saw my mother starin back at me thought of dad when I went out at 1 AM to get somethin I didn’t need this is what we do with all the hearts that need a home, now go on back to sleep he sings the song so loud it bounces backwards off the bar and falls out on the street
9.
1 2 3 4 jennys got a gun and they aim it pretty well they’re a good shot can’t you tell riding up the block can we make another stop see who’s home, its 10 o’clock i don’t care what your plans are ive got plans o my own jennys chewin gum blowin bubbles til they pop like their jaw won’t ever stop and they say “when we all grow up, we’ll turn into turtledoves we’ll have nothin but enough — we won’t care what their planes are, we’ve got wings of our own”
10.
the thought that all was lost again i held the sunlight in my hand petal in the palm a soft, familiar psalm a golden chance check that back pocket ‘fore you go and push the pain out that you know beating of the heart there’s good luck in the art and in the lamp mmmmm
11.
behind your shield we’ve the same mind — waiting I check the time you pick your side — weighting mmmmm I roll the dice in my denial — baiting our teeth have been bared for a while — grating oh if we could only fly away oh to open up our eyes and see a brand new way the time is loaned, our eyes are wide open it is the same thorn in our side — groanin’ please excuse me by the candlelight we can’t help these things the tears were made to cry oh if we could only fly away oh to open up our eyes and see a brand new way oh if we could only dive away oh to open up our eyes and see a brand new way
12.
just ring the bell and I will be your hands I’ll be your hands I’ll open the can, yes, I’ll do what you could once, what you can’t neighbor you cry — what am I if not a helping hand? neighbor, alive, be my eyes and I will be your lamb just ring the bell and I will be your hands I’ll be your hands I’ll walk down the steps, yes, I’ll do what you could do what you can’t neighbor you cry — what am I if not a helping hand? neighbor, alive, be my eyes I will be your man
13.
when i spoke you were undone no more chances, only one i don’t know what you don’t know i don’t know what you don’t write that letter, but don’t send re-break that bone in hopes of mending i don’t know what you don’t know i don’t know what you don’t
14.
and the hounds they sing the angels ope’ their wings and in her outstretched hand, a broken olive branch and the hounds they sing heeding the signs of spring and the doves all dance upon the willow branch
15.
you’re far, far gone on your way probably in your nice jacket, chasin the rabbits and fillin up til your heart overspills always seeking among the strip malls to gain a semblance of substance, anything that means something, to put into your pocket again maybe its still untrue you swore to me id be there for you is it enough to make you happy or just enough to keep you here? feet in heavy, heavy boots try to sing your way out, end up ear to the ground but i heard you, ill hear you again it takes time to lift the burden even with all the flowers, and walking for hours, even with someone there to hold your hand maybe its still untrue you swore to me id be there for you is it enough to make you happy or just enough to keep you here? is it enough to make you happy? or just enough to keep you to keep you to keep you
16.
if you were a garden each flower a song I’d plant you bouquets-full our whole springtime long if you were a mountain I would be your fog wrap round you each mornin share our every dawn if you were a hound dog could I be your bone you can have all my marrow and carry me round our home if you were a dove, dear please make me your tree my branches your cradle, build your nest with me If you were the moon, love I would be your tide following you surely, all trust & gentle pride if I am the setting sun then you are the sky ill kiss you with ripest color til the evening draws nigh you are the sky you are the sky you are the sky you are the sky
17.
don’t follow in my shoes, they’re too worn again ill float between those big blues, both the two of them those big blues, both the two again those big blues, both the two of them
18.
19.
(reharmonization practice) don’t follow in my shoes, they’re too worn again ill float between those big blues, both the two of them those big blues, both the two again those big blues, both the two of them those big blues, both the two
20.
silk and satin and velveteen don’t get attached like it’s the only don’t light the match, mind the evergreen silk and satin and velveteen
21.
22.
i smashed my phone i skipped the class iiiiiiiii swam in the lake got bit by ants i-hi-hiiiiiiiii couldn’t be bothered don’t bother me couldn’t be bothered don’t bother me i didn’t write the song i said i would you sent that text i didnt replyyyyyy i couldn’t be bothered don’t bother me couldn’t be bothered don’t bother me
23.
are we there yet are we there yet are we there yet are we there yet i can’t imagine being upset to receive such flowers on my doorstep are we there yet are we there yet are we there yet are we there yet are we there yet are we there yet?
24.
25.
I am not the object of your desire I am not a thing to put on your shelf I just wanna float in the open water, not to feel another’s eyes all over my flesh just another thief of your public comfort just another knife at your tender throat a throwing of the hands, in protest or surrender? a shaking of the head, we both know you know blinding white rage waving white flag bird in a cage braving whitecaps I am not the object of your desire I am not an object I’m tired I’m tired
26.
who gives a shit bout the value of a dollar who gives a shit bout your couple of cents enough to buy you the feeling of some power bought you a bank all brimmin with pigs what bigger lie than the valor of a dollar what bigger lies than your couple of cents built off of backs then bent on over backwards breaking the bank and burnin the pigs
27.
28.
29.
ida 03:30
I don’t trust my name anymore I don’t trust the ground to hold when all that’s left is wind and water what will you call home I don’t know your name anymore I don’t know the ground to hold if all that’s left is wind and water what do we call home when all that’s left is wind and water boats and trains and sons and daughters all that’s left is wind and water alllllll
30.
ida outro 03:02

about

phone folk, voice memo postcards, ever-last-minute summertime sentiments

the 3rd month in the 3rd year so far of this song-a-day saga
i did not make it all the way through this one
but i made these rules, and im sayin its ok

an unmixed, unfinished, intentional, noisy, hopeful mess
a month that slipped right thru my fingers again, somehow
i cant remember how to play most of these songs already
from portland to denver to chicago, from another birthday, and my partner’s, to a new job, from packing up and saying goodbye to one home, to hello to another

always trying
this one is the least finished yet — what i mean to say is that its the most merciful i have been with myself. if you squint your eyes and open your ears you can hear it

a few of these* were written with the prompts of a songwriting course taught by Meg Duffy of Hand Habits via School of Song


recommended if you like:

windchimes, sirens, cicadas, car horns, creaky doors, wrong notes, chicago, lake michigan, late nights, early mornings, free craigslist, flower petals, box fans, sibilance, clipping, unfinished projects, hopeful messes

or maybe if you seek solace from any of those things, too





*workshop-prompt-inspired songs:
icarus (aug 11)
hunter (aug 14)
big blue reprise (aug 19)

credits

released September 13, 2021

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about

hemlock

swamp-raised, ATX/chicago-based, phone-fi post-folk
(heart archive)
hemlocksounds@gmail.com


xo,
carolina

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